Is Anger Destroying Relationships At Home And Work?
Are You In Danger Of Losing Your Job Because Of Anger?What Is Anger?
Anger is a completely normal, often healthy, human emotion, anger is a natural process. Anger empowers you to protect yourself against perceived attacks and threats.
Anger Triggers
Anger is often triggered by a perceived threat and is a common reaction to being treated badly or being insulted.
When anger is controlled and managed appropriately, it can have a positive influence, helping you to stand up for yourself and take action against injustices. When anger is out of control, it can lead to aggression and physical, mental and emotional abuse of others. This can result in:
- Being physically violent
- Swearing
- Bullying
- Manipulation
- Road rage resulting in dangerous driving
All of which will hurt you, your partner, your children, your colleagues and anyone who happens to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Sometimes you direct anger at yourself and this results in self-harm, such as cutting or banging your head on a wall.
Physical Changes Accompanying Anger
These can include:
- an increase in heart rate and blood pressure
- Chemicals such as adrenaline and cortisol released around the body
- An increase in body temperature and breathing.
Health Conditions Linked To Uncontrolled Anger
When your body has to cope with increased stress hormones due to angry outbursts, it can lead to illness.
Health conditions linked to uncontrolled anger are:
- high blood pressure
- headaches
- skin conditions
- irritable bowel syndrome
- ulcers
- insomnia
- heart attack
- back problems
- stroke
The observable symptoms of outwardly expressed anger include:
Being physically hostile and aggressive
- Outbursts of verbal abuse
- Heightened colour in face
- Tense muscles with clenched fists and jaw
- Threatening manner
- Agitated pacing
- Thrusting head forwards
- Wild and abusive hand gestures
Suppressed, hidden anger is equally destructive, but not so observable or as easily identified as expressed anger.
Suppressed anger can lead to:
- low self esteem
- lack of confidence
- eating disorders
- anxiety depression
- self harming drug and alcohol abuse
Understanding how to express your anger in a positive way will help you to enjoy relationships, work productively, solve problems, handle crisis and reach goals.
Recognising Why You Get Angry
Some of the most common causes of anger include
- Harrassment
- Disappointment
- Frustration
- and threats
You can feel angry when things are not going the way you want them to, or when people are not acting and responding as you think they should, or events are not panning out your way. When things don't match up to your inner idea of how things 'should be', it can lead either to suppressed or expressed anger. Anger can be caused by both external and internal events. When anger starts to negatively impact everyday life and relationships it is time to seek help.
Help Needed?
If you feel that your anger is out of control, and is negatively affecting your life and those around you, counselling can help you discover the roots of your anger and develop techniques for changing your thinking and behaviour. Without help, anger can spiral out of control and lead to many personal difficulties.
Holding onto anger, resentment and hurt only gives you tense muscles, a headache and a sore jaw from clenching your teeth. Forgiveness gives you back the laughter and the lightness in your life. Joan Lumden
Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret. Ambrose Bierce
